October 14, 2010
We all lead and live very different lives with our families. I look at that as a good thing. Sometimes it can be overwhelming because one decision may have ramifications that will affect our little ones in the future but each decision we make is based on our own situation.
I recently received negative feedback regarding my choice of being a working mom, authoring a working mom blog with a “positive” twist and communicating the value of having a good attitude.
Mainly, the issue was that my kids are in daycare 40 hours a week and the view of the anonymous commenter was that somebody else is raising them. How can anyone be positive about that?
Hmmm. Not exactly my take on the situation but he or she is certainly entitled to an opinion.
Of course, my initial reaction was to go on the defense about the choices my hubby and I have made for our family. But why? I choose not to defend it because there is nothing to defend. It is … was …. and will always be our “choice” for our family.
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Each of us moms have our own set of choices and decisions to make. Sometimes an individual’s choice may not fall in line with our own. That is ok.
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Because we have differences in the way we raise our families, that doesn’t mean one way is better or more purposeful than the other. It doesn’t lessen the value of the other person merely because of difference. We are just different. Even with our differences we can still learn something from one another.
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Embrace diversity and uniqueness among parenting styles. That is what makes this world go around…
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We can always agree to disagree.
Yes, yes, yes- I totally agree! I used to think like your critic…until I found myself returning to work almost full time. I learned quickly that you can't judge another mom's decisions. Each of us has to do what's best for our family. I applaud your positive perspective- I think it's a great example for our kids that we can be content and upbeat no matter what life throws our way.
By the way, as a homeschooling family, we face a LOT of criticism as well…I'm going to do a blog post about that soon.
Thank you Amanda! So glad to hear from you… I know that is another debated topic and can't wait to read your homeschooling post!
well said. so classy, professional and nice. you know how i feel about it and i think it's awesome that you have a POSITIVE outlook on being a working moms. often times we complain about work, being away from kids, and all that does is make us more stressed. i love your outlook.
Thank you for this! I just wrote a similar post myself, not about choosing to go back to work, but about how quickly we will attack other mom's choices. We seem to forget what we all have in common: we love our kids and are trying to do what is best for them!
Just found your blog via Julia at Work, Wife, Mom…Life! And I'm so glad! I definitely need more positive in my parenting! Great post! Will be following you now…
Great response (o: I am a homeschooling mom & like Amanda said – we face a bunch of criticism (mostly from our own friends & families, sheesh). I commend you for being positive, I myself would not have been so positive … thankfully they did not post that comment on my blog.
I posted this on a friends Facebook wall today … made me giggle so enjoy (o:
We should not worry about what people say or think about us!
Seriosly, my shower saw me naked this morning … imagine what it might have told my toaster?
Awesome… all of your comments! We are all so different and it's fabulous! I just started blogging a few months ago and love reading how everyone manages their own situation. Thanks for the support, not only for me and my little, humble blog but for the overall reason why I wrote this! And, love the shower talking to the toaster. I was laughing out loud! Oh, if my appliances could talk…
Girl you rock ~ a few months & 120 followers … spill the secrets (o:
I thought I was already following you, I just made it 121!
Love it love it.. thats what I preach to my kids.. you have CHOICES.. there is always a chocie its up to you to decide if it is a right or a wrong choice but even if you pick a wrong choice there will be another choice and choose wisely… Love the article. I been blogging for 6 weeks now and it sure is a lot of fun, visit me sometime over at http://www.twoboysonegirlandacrazymom.com
Melanie
Some people can be so ignorant, really!
Since when did having your child in day-care become "letting someone else raise your child?"
When they go to school, no one says anything. Aren't the hours the same? Oh, wait…shame on you for not homeschooling, right!
Whatever!
I have worked for the past 3 years and recently started staying home with my 3 and 1 year old. I know both sides of this all to well.
Kudos to you for your positive perspective and for writing with such control! There are some choice words for moms disrepecting others that we should not say, and you did a fabulous job at keeping your cool and staying POSITIVE!
Again, thank you all for the comments! Really am appreciative of all the thoughts on this. My intention is not to spark debate as I know it's a very hot topic. Why would one "choose" to work if it wasn't necessary (not because of finances)? I just got that one this morning. Even the answers that come from that discussion may trigger more debate among so many perspectives. There’s not a right answer. So, to my lovely anonymous commenter who I appreciate, I will tell you I truly believe you may never understand because you have a different perspective on the topic (i.e. understand why moms choose to work). Different beliefs and life styles is what I chalk this up to. I do not believe my answers will satisfy you. And to me that is ok because they are beyond satisfactory in my life… but I will share that lots of other things in this world perplex me, too
Well said. Sadly that agreeing to disagree part seems to be so hard for people. As does respecting others who make different choices. I'm so sorry you received that feedback. Just remember that is the other person's issue and not yours. And stay positive, Mama!